Thursday, March 19, 2009

why the end of the term is the absolute worst...

i hate my life four times a year.

those four times happen to coincide with the end of the term at school. being bombarded with late work, whining, and an incessant chorus of "what can i do to raise my grade?" is enough to drive anyone to the brink of insanity. (it doesn't help that those kids asking how to raise their grade are the ones who haven't lifted a finger the entire term.)

i seriously have PILES of projects and sketchbooks to grade. heaven forbid anyone actually turn in their work on time. and then the kids have the audacity to ask me why the assignments (all due a month and a half ago) that they turned in an hour ago aren't graded yet.

my other favorites are the students who don't turn in their end of the term work and then wonder how their grade went from an A to a C right at the end. Usually their mom calls and screams at me and I have to try and calmly explain how sketchbook work is graded at mid-term and the end of the term and that their little angel didn't turn any of the 12 assignments in their sketchbook. somehow that's my fault.

our school also has an attendance policy. if students have too many absences or too many tardies they have to go to attendance school--an early morning seat-time make up session of sorts. i guess it's kind of like detention for people with attendance problems. if students don't go to the amount of attendance school required, they don't get graduation credit for that class. of course, everyone procrastinates, so the following conversation ensues about 53 times at the end of each term:

student: " there any way i can make up my attendance without going to attendance school?"

me: "no."

student: "but i don't like getting up that early."

me: "then you should have come to class."

student: "but i need to go to attendance school 8 times for your class and 19 times for my other classes and there are only 2 attendance schools left before the end of the term."

me: "why didn't you start going to attendance school before now? you knew you needed to."

student: incoherent mumbling. "can i just come in and wipe off your tables or something?"

me: "first of all, no because 2 minutes of wiping off tables doesn't make up for skipping four class periods. and secondly, no because the policy is that you go to attendance school. we pay people extra to babysit you so i don't have to."

student: "but now it's too late."

me: "well, then, i guess you should have taken care of it sooner."

student: "that's frickin' retarded! now i'm going to have to make up the credit...blah blah blah!"

me: "it's your responsibility to take care of your grades and attendance--not mine. you knew you needed to go to attendance school and you chose not to. that was your decision."

student: uses my name as a swear word. stomps off.

if another kid who has turned in zero projects the entire term asks me about extra credit, i might lose it. keep an eye on the local news for reports of a psychotic outbreak at pleasant grove high school. you'll know it was me...

...or one of the other 100 teachers who work here.


  1. I wish I'd had cool teachers like you.. You're hilarious. Next time someone asks something like that, just give them your blog address :) Or maybe just print this post off. It's hilarious!

  2. you ARE hilarious! that's too funny.

    i'm sorry that the kids are so irresponsible, but i sure am glad that you stand your ground!

  3. This is soo funny!! I have a teaching degree and of coarse had a small chance to teach before I had my baby and I can relate all too well!! Teaching can be so maddening at times- I shed way too man tears over trying to teach kids who hated me. Teachers should definitely get paid more- bravo for doing what you are doing for these kids :)


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